The Talk: How to Discuss Testamentary Wishes with Your Parents

Discussing end-of-life planning with aging parents is one of the most emotionally charged and practically necessary conversations adult children will ever face. As a geropsychologist in Los Angeles specializing in capacity assessment, I’ve seen firsthand how proactive, compassionate dialogue can prevent future confusion, conflict, and even legal disputes. “The talk” about testamentary wishes—how your parents want their assets, legacy, and final affairs handled—is not just about paperwork. It’s about clarity, so that there are no surprises or difficult questions that need to be answered if and when a parent is no longer capable of answering them.

Why This Conversation Matters

Testamentary capacity refers to a person’s legal and cognitive ability to make a valid will. It requires understanding the nature of the act, the extent of one’s assets, and the implications of distributing them. While many older adults retain this capacity well into advanced age, cognitive decline can complicate matters. Waiting too long to initiate the conversation risks missing the window when your parent can clearly articulate their wishes and legally document them.

Beyond legal concerns, this conversation is a gift. It allows your parent to express their values, clarify intentions, and ensure their legacy is preserved as they envision.

How to Start the Conversation

Timing and tone are everything. Here are some strategies I recommend:

• Choose a calm, private moment. Avoid holidays or emotionally charged events. A quiet afternoon or a routine visit often works best.

• Frame it as respect, not control. Say something like, “I want to make sure your wishes are honored exactly as you intend. Can we talk about what matters most to you?”

• Use stories or examples. Reference a friend’s experience with estate confusion or a recent news story to gently introduce the topic.

• Normalize the process. Emphasize that planning ahead is something responsible people do—not because they’re frail, but because they’re wise.

What to Cover

The conversation should go beyond “who gets what.” Here are key areas to explore:

• Will and estate plans: Is there a current will? Has it been reviewed recently? Is it legally sound?

• Executor designation: Who do they trust to carry out their wishes?

• Advance directives and powers of attorney: Have they named someone to make medical or financial decisions if they become incapacitated?

• Special bequests or legacy items: Are there sentimental items or charitable gifts they want to ensure are passed on?

• Digital assets: Do they have online accounts, passwords, or digital property that should be addressed?

Navigating Resistance

It’s common for people, both parents and adult children, to avoid these conversations. It is uncomfortable to think about our own mortality, or the possibility that capacity may decline in the future. A parent in this situation may fear losing control, feel overwhelmed, or simply not want to confront mortality. Here’s how to respond:

• Validate their feelings: “I understand this isn’t easy to talk about. I feel the same way.”

• Reassure them: “This is about making sure your voice is heard—not about making decisions for you.”

• Offer support: Suggest meeting with an estate attorney or financial planner together.

• Take it slow: If they shut down, revisit the topic gently another time. Persistence with compassion is key.

When Capacity Is in Question

If you notice signs of cognitive decline like confusion, memory lapses, or difficulty with reasoning, it’s essential to assess whether your parent still has testamentary capacity. A formal evaluation by a geropsychologist or neuropsychologist can provide clarity and protect their rights. Importantly, capacity is task-specific and can fluctuate. A person may be able to make a will even if they struggle with other decisions. In my capacity assessments, I usually do brief testing to evaluate cognitive function, in addition to a clinical interview and interviews with others to gather information. Just because someone has cognitive decline does NOT mean they lack capacity, but it is smart to get an evaluation before making or changing a will so that there can’t be any questions about whether your parent had capacity (thus, whether the will is valid) later down the line.

Final Thoughts

“The talk” isn’t a one-time event; rather it’s a series of conversations that evolve as your parent’s needs and wishes change. Approach it with empathy, patience, and a deep respect for their autonomy. Done well, it strengthens family bonds, reduces future stress, and ensures that your parent’s legacy is honored with clarity and care.

If you’re unsure how to begin or suspect capacity concerns, consult a professional. A thoughtful, well-timed conversation today can prevent heartache tomorrow.

READY TO START “THE TALK” ABOUT TESTAMENTARY WISHES? CONSULT A GEROPSYCHOLOGIST IN LOS ANGELES, CA

Discussing testamentary wishes with your parents can feel uncomfortable—but it’s one of the most meaningful conversations you can have. These talks aren’t just about legal documents; they’re about understanding values, honoring intentions, and fostering peace of mind for everyone involved.

As an experienced geropsychologist in Los Angeles, CA, Dr. Stacy Reger provides a thoughtful, compassionate approach to navigating conversations about end-of-life planning and decision-making. Her expertise helps families communicate clearly, manage emotions, and ensure each person’s voice is heard and respected. Take the next step today:

• Call (424) 262-1925 to schedule a private consultation

• Meet with an experienced geropsychologist to prepare for sensitive family discussions

  Create a plan that balances emotional understanding with informed decision-making.

MORE SUPPORT FROM DR. STACY REGER IN LOS ANGELES, CA

As a geropsychologist in Los Angeles, CA, Dr. Stacy Reger understands that conversations around testamentary wishes, future planning, and end-of-life decisions can be emotionally layered for both parents and adult children. She provides supportive, expert guidance to help families approach these discussions with clarity, empathy, and respect—ensuring that each person’s values, intentions, and concerns are thoughtfully acknowledged.

Her neuropsychological assessments offer insight into cognitive factors that may influence a parent’s ability to understand, articulate, or update their testamentary preferences. Whether evaluating memory changes, decision-making capacity, or broader cognitive functioning, Dr. Reger helps families determine the best timing and approach for these important conversations. In addition to capacity evaluations, she offers med-legal assessments, workers’ compensation evaluations, and pre-surgical screenings to support informed planning across a range of needs.

Dr. Reger also provides therapy and consultation for older adults and caregivers navigating emotional or relational challenges tied to aging, independence, and long-term planning. She supports families, fiduciaries, and professionals through education, training, and community presentations that foster healthier communication and more confident decision-making. Visit Dr. Reger’s blog to explore more guidance on aging, cognitive health, and navigating sensitive family conversations.

Independent Living vs. Assisted Care: A Geropsychologist’s Perspective

As a geropsychologist in Los Angeles, I’ve spent years helping older adults and their families navigate the complex terrain of aging. One of the most emotionally fraught and practically significant decisions they face is whether to remain living independently or transition to assisted living. This choice is rarely black and white. It’s shaped by health, safety, autonomy, and personal values. My role is to help families understand the psychological and functional dimensions of this decision, and to support older adults in maintaining dignity and control throughout the process.

Understanding the Options

Independent living typically refers to a private residence where the individual manages daily life with minimal outside support. It’s ideal for those who are cognitively intact, physically mobile, and socially engaged. Assisted living, on the other hand, encompasses a range of services from in-home aides to residential facilities designed to support individuals with limitations in activities of daily living (ADLs), such as bathing, dressing, medication management, and mobility.

The distinction isn’t just logistical, it’s psychological. Independent living supports identity, routine, and self-determination. Transitioning to assisted living introduces structure, oversight, and sometimes a sense of loss. But it can also offer safety, relief from isolation, and improved quality of life.

The Psychological Landscape

Older adults often fear that accepting help means surrendering independence. This fear is valid. Autonomy is a cornerstone of mental health, and abrupt transitions can trigger depression, anxiety, or resistance. That’s why timing and framing are critical.

From a geropsychology standpoint, assisted living is best viewed as a tool for empowerment, not a sign of decline. It’s a way to preserve independence for as long as possible, even when a person needs increasing support. It’s also crucial that older adults are involved in the decision-making process, though this can be a tricky balance between being patient and moving things forward before an injury or other event changes the options.

Signs It May Be Time to Transition

Families often ask me, “How do we know when it’s time?” Here are some indicators that suggest assisted care may be appropriate:

• Frequent falls or mobility issues

• Missed medications or medical appointments

• Declining hygiene or nutrition

• Social withdrawal or isolation

• Cognitive decline affecting judgment or safety

• Loss of ability to drive safely (e.g., accidents, tickets, changes in eyesight or judgment)

• Caregiver burnout or family strain

These signs don’t automatically mean a full move to assisted living. Sometimes, targeted in-home support or adult day programs can bridge the gap. The key is to match the level of care to the individual’s needs without overcorrecting.

Balancing Safety and Autonomy

One of the hardest parts of this decision is balancing safety with autonomy. Families want to protect their loved ones, but older adults want to preserve control. As a geropsychologist, I encourage collaborative planning. Ask your loved one:

• What does independence mean to you?

• What are your biggest fears about assisted care?

• What kind of help would feel supportive, not intrusive?

These conversations build trust and reduce defensiveness. They also help families tailor solutions that honor the older adult’s values.

Supporting the Transition

If a move to assisted care is necessary, psychological support can ease the transition. I often recommend:

• Visiting the facility together beforehand

• Personalizing the new space with familiar items

• Maintaining routines and social connections

• Scheduling regular family visits

• Engaging in meaningful activities

Adjustment takes time. It’s normal for older adults to grieve the loss of their previous lifestyle and often, the home they have lived in for many years. But with empathy, structure, and continued engagement, many thrive in assisted settings.

Final Thoughts

Independent living and assisted care are not opposing choices; they’re points on a continuum. The right option depends on the individual’s physical, cognitive, emotional, and social needs. As a geropsychologist in Los Angeles, my advice is simple: prioritize dignity, listen, and plan proactively. Aging is not a problem to solve, and asking for help is not a sign of weakness. I’ve known many older adults who resisted a shift to assisted living, but once there, were able to relax and enjoy being supported in ways they didn’t realize they needed. Assisted living often lifts the burden of keeping up a home, doing laundry, cooking meals, driving, managing medications, or trying to maintain a social life, and opens a new chapter and new community for older adults.

If you’re facing this decision, consider consulting a geropsychologist or care manager. With the right guidance, you can help your loved one age with grace, safety, and purpose.

UNSURE IF INDEPENDENT LIVING OR ASSISTED CARE IS RIGHT? CONSULT A GEROPSYCHOLOGIST IN LOS ANGELES, CA

Deciding between independent living and assisted care can feel overwhelming—for families and individuals alike. Whether you’re weighing the benefits of autonomy or the need for additional support, having expert guidance can bring clarity and peace of mind.

As a trusted geropsychologist in Los Angeles, CA, Dr. Stacy Reger offers compassionate, evidence-based insights to help families navigate these important decisions. Her expertise in Geropyschology ensures that care plans honor each person’s unique needs, preferences, and quality of life. Take the next step today:

• Call (424) 262-1925 to schedule a private consultation

• Meet with an experienced geropsychologist to explore care options

  Make informed, compassionate decisions for your loved one’s future.

MORE SUPPORT FROM DR. STACY REGER IN LOS ANGELES, CA

As a geropsychologist in Los Angeles, CA, Dr. Stacy Reger understands that decisions about independent living and assisted care can affect not only daily functioning but also emotional well-being, relationships, and a sense of autonomy. She offers specialized services to help older adults and their families navigate these transitions with clarity, compassion, and confidence—providing both clinical insight and emotional support through every step of the journey.

Her neuropsychological assessments evaluate conditions such as dementia, mild cognitive impairment, ADHD, and traumatic brain injury—helping individuals and families understand cognitive strengths and challenges, and guiding decisions around safety, care, and quality of life. In addition to capacity evaluations, Dr. Reger provides med-legal assessments, workers’ compensation evaluations, and pre-surgical screenings to ensure informed and thoughtful planning.

Dr. Reger also offers therapy and consultation for older adults and caregivers navigating the emotional impact of these life changes. She partners with families, fiduciaries, and professionals through education, training, and community presentations. Visit Dr. Reger’s blog to learn more about aging, care planning, and strategies for supporting independence and well-being.

Understanding the Neuropsychologist’s Role in California Workers’ Compensation Stress Cases

In California’s workers’ compensation system, psychological stress claims—often referred to as “psychiatric injuries”—are complex, multifaceted, and frequently misunderstood. When an employee alleges that workplace conditions have led to significant emotional distress, anxiety, depression, or cognitive impairment, a multidisciplinary evaluation becomes essential. In some cases, a neuropsychological assessment is necessary.

As a clinical neuropsychologist in South Bay who frequently evaluates workers’ compensation cases, I’ve seen firsthand how neuropsychological assessments can clarify the nature and extent of an employee’s cognitive and emotional functioning. Neuropsychologists bring a unique lens to stress claims, especially when cognitive symptoms—such as memory loss, difficulty concentrating, or executive dysfunction—are part of the picture.

What Is a Neuropsychologist?

A neuropsychologist is a licensed psychologist with specialized training in brain-behavior relationships. We use standardized testing to assess cognitive domains such as attention, memory, processing speed, language, and problem-solving. In the context of workers’ compensation, a neuropsych evaluation helps determine whether a work injury has impacted brain function and whether there are other factors at play.

Why Neuropsychological Testing Matters in Workers’ Comp Claims

In California, for a psychiatric injury to be compensable under workers’ compensation, the employee must demonstrate that the injury is predominantly caused by actual events of employment. This includes showing objective evidence of impairment—not just subjective complaints. If a person suffered a head injury at work and experiences cognitive symptoms, that can be where neuropsychological testing becomes invaluable.

For example, an employee may report feeling “foggy,” forgetful, or unable to focus after experiencing a head injury or stroke related to work. While these symptoms are distressing, they must be substantiated through objective measures. A psychologist with expertise in neuropsychology can administer a battery of tests to evaluate whether these cognitive complaints reflect measurable deficits—and whether those deficits are consistent with a brain injury, stroke, or perhaps stress-related disorders such as PTSD, major depressive disorder, or anxiety.

Differentiating Between Causes

Another key role of the neuropsychologist is to differentiate between psychological stress and other neurological conditions. Sometimes, cognitive complaints may stem from unrelated medical issues such as sleep apnea, substance use, or early dementia. Neuropsychological testing helps rule out these possibilities, ensuring that the workers’ compensation claim is accurately attributed to workplace factors when appropriate.

This distinction is crucial not only for diagnosis but also for treatment planning. If the neuropsychologist finds that cognitive deficits are more likely due to depression than a neurological disorder, the treatment focus may shift toward psychotherapy and medication management rather than cognitive rehabilitation or another intervention.

Stress-related workers’ compensation claims are emotionally charged and legally intricate. Neuropsychological evaluation isn’t necessary in most cases, but when there is a question of cognitive impairment, a neuropsych assessment can offer a critical layer of objectivity and expertise, helping to validate claims, guide treatment, and support fair outcomes. The role of a neuropsych report is not just diagnostic—it’s integrative, bridging the gap between psychological distress and cognitive function.

FEELING OVERWHELMED BY STRESS AT WORK? CONSULT A NEUROPSYCHOLOGIST IN SOUTH BAY

Workplace stress can affect far more than morale—it can impact focus, memory, and overall cognitive functioning. In California workers’ compensation cases, understanding how psychological and cognitive factors contribute to workplace challenges is essential for fair assessment and treatment planning.

As an experienced neuropsychologist in South Bay, Dr. Stacy Reger provides comprehensive, evidence-based evaluations that clarify the connection between stress, cognition, and workplace functioning. Her assessments support injured workers, employers, and legal professionals in making informed decisions that prioritize mental health, recovery, and return-to-work readiness. Take the next step today:

• Call (424) 262-1925 to schedule a private consultation

• Meet with a licensed neuropsychologist for a detailed evaluation

• Find clarity in complex workers’ comp stress cases—and ensure psychological factors are fully understood and represented.

MORE SUPPORT FROM DR. STACY REGER IN LOS ANGELES, CA

As a neuropsychologist in South Bay, Dr. Stacy Reger understands that workplace stress doesn’t just affect emotions—it can also impact cognitive performance, focus, and daily functioning. She offers comprehensive evaluations for workers’ comp for stress cases to clarify the psychological and neurocognitive factors contributing to stress-related challenges, helping individuals, employers, and legal professionals make informed decisions in workers’ compensation cases.

Her neuropsychological assessments identify how conditions such as anxiety, depression, trauma, or chronic stress influence memory, attention, and executive functioning. These evaluations provide a clear picture of an individual’s strengths and limitations, supporting fair case resolution, effective treatment planning, and return-to-work readiness. Beyond workers’ compensation, Dr. Reger also conducts med-legal assessments, workers’ compensation evaluations, and pre-surgical screenings—each rooted in evidence-based methods and clinical precision.

In addition to her clinical work, Dr. Reger serves as a trusted consultant and educator, offering training and presentations for attorneys, case managers, and medical professionals. Visit Dr. Reger’s blog to learn more about neuropsychology, workplace wellness, and the critical role of psychological evaluation in workers’ compensation stress cases.

Navigating Cognitive Decline: A Geropsychologist’s Perspective

As a geropsychologist with a background in neuropsychology, I often meet families who are concerned about a loved one’s memory lapses, confusion, or changes in decision-making. These signs can be unsettling, and many wonder: Is this normal aging, or something more serious?

Cognitive decline is a natural part of aging, but when it begins to interfere with daily functioning, it warrants a closer look. My role is to assess, clarify, and guide—helping older adults and their families understand what’s happening and what can be done.

Understanding the Aging Brain

First, it’s important to recognize that not all cognitive changes are pathological. Processing speed may slow, and multitasking becomes more difficult, but these shifts don’t necessarily signal dementia. All of us will experience minor changes in cognition as we age. However, when memory loss, disorientation, or impaired judgment begin to affect safety, day-to-day life, independence, or relationships, we need to evaluate further.

That’s where neuropsychological assessment comes in. It’s a powerful tool that allows us to measure brain function through standardized tests, offering a detailed profile of strengths and weaknesses across domains like memory, attention, language, executive functioning, and visuospatial skills.

The neurological Assessment Process

When I assess an older adult for cognitive decline, I begin with a comprehensive interview. I want to understand their medical history, medications, mood, sleep patterns, and daily functioning. Depression, anxiety, and chronic illness can all mimic or exacerbate cognitive symptoms, so context is key.

Next comes testing. Neuropsychological batteries are tailored to the individual and take several hours. These tests are not invasive—they’re paper-and-pencil or computer-based tasks designed to challenge specific cognitive abilities. For example, I might ask someone to recall a list of words, solve puzzles, or interpret visual patterns.

The results help differentiate between normal aging, mild cognitive impairment (MCI), and various types of dementia, such as Alzheimer’s disease, vascular dementia, or Lewy body dementia. This distinction is critical for treatment planning and future care decisions.

Management and Support

Once we understand the nature of the cognitive decline, we can begin to manage it. While some causes of decline are reversible—such as vitamin deficiencies or medication side effects—others are progressive. In those cases, the goal shifts from cure to support.

Management often includes:

• Cognitive rehabilitation: Structured exercises to strengthen attention, memory, and problem-solving.

• Environmental modifications: Simplifying routines, labeling items, and using calendars or alarms to support independence, among other strategies.

• Psychotherapy: Addressing the emotional impact of cognitive changes, including grief, anxiety, and identity shifts.

• Family education: Helping caregivers understand the condition, communicate effectively, and prevent burnout.

I also collaborate with physicians, occupational therapists, and social workers to ensure a holistic approach. For example, if testing reveals early Alzheimer’s, I may refer the patient for medication evaluation, while also helping the family plan for future care needs.

The Human Side of Assessment

Beyond the data, my work is deeply human. Older adults often fear losing autonomy or being labeled. I strive to create a safe, respectful space where they feel heard and valued. A diagnosis doesn’t define someone—it’s a tool to help people live with dignity and purpose, and plan for the future.

I’ve seen clients thrive with the right support. One woman, diagnosed with MCI, began using memory strategies and joined a cognitive fitness group. Her confidence grew, and she remained independent for years. Another client with early dementia found joy in art therapy and reconnected with family through storytelling.

Cognitive decline is not a one-size-fits-all experience. As a geropsychologist, my job is to illuminate the path forward—whether that means reassurance, intervention, or long-term planning. With compassion, science, and collaboration, we can help older adults navigate these changes with grace.

If you or a loved one are noticing cognitive changes, don’t wait. Early assessment can make all the difference.

WORRIED ABOUT COGNITIVE DECLINE IN A LOVED ONE? CONSULT A GEROPSYCHOLOGIST IN SOUTH BAY, CA

Cognitive decline can bring uncertainty—for individuals, families, and care teams alike. Whether you’re noticing subtle memory changes or navigating more significant shifts in decision-making or independence, having expert insight can make all the difference.

As a trusted geropsychologist in South Bay and Los Angeles, CA, Dr. Stacy Reger provides compassionate, evidence-based evaluations that clarify cognitive abilities and inform next steps in care, planning, and support. Her assessments help families approach these transitions with understanding, confidence, and respect for each person’s unique story. Take the next step today:

• Call (424) 262-1925 to schedule a private consultation

• Meet with an experienced geropsychologist for a cognitive evaluation

• Gain the clarity and guidance needed to make informed, compassionate decisions

MORE SUPPORT FROM DR. STACY REGER IN LOS ANGELES, CA

As a geropsychologist in South Bay, CA, Dr. Stacy Reger understands that cognitive decline can impact not only memory and daily functioning but also emotional well-being, relationships, and independence. She offers specialized services to help older adults and their families navigate these changes with clarity, compassion, and confidence—providing both clinical insight and emotional support through each stage of the journey.

Her neuropsychological assessments evaluate conditions such as dementia, mild cognitive impairment, ADHD, and traumatic brain injury—helping individuals and families understand cognitive strengths and challenges, and guiding decisions around safety, care, and quality of life. In addition to capacity evaluations, Dr. Reger provides med-legal assessments, workers’ compensation evaluations, and pre-surgical screenings to ensure informed and thoughtful planning.

Dr. Reger also offers therapy and consultation for older adults and caregivers navigating the emotional impact of cognitive changes. She partners with families, fiduciaries, and professionals through education, training, and community presentations. Visit Dr. Reger’s blog to learn more about cognitive health, aging, and strategies for supporting independence and well-being.